Earthquakes and Hurricanes and Tornadoes, Oh my!

Hello all.  It has certainly been an interesting week: an earthquake on Tuesday and a tornado-inducing hurricane at the end of the week.  After 7 months, we have officially been welcomed to the East Coast!  Because of our week of seismic and meteorologic phenomena, I thought I would give an update as to our current predicaments and goings-on.  Previously, I have posted only jokes and hypotheticals.  This post, however, is no joke, all seriousness.

I'll begin with the most shocking news: I am told that previously-unknown destruction from the earthquake was discovered shortly before the hurricane--our tall and skinny, paper-towel-tube flower vase that sits on our porch was knocked over!  Although that may have just been wind or the local squirrel, one of the two.

Now for the hurricane news--I type this blog post as as we float through the streets and countryside of Frederick, Md.  The hurricane brought such rain and flooding that the entire East Coast is under water (don't believe any reports to the contrary, it's a lie).  Fortunately, from the Outer Banks to Maine, all but nine unfortunate souls float on unhinged bedroom doors, using floor lamps as oars; some have even banded together and created whole communities, lashing together their hollow-core flotation devices with dental floss and donations from "locks of love"!

The rain came down and the floods came up so quickly that we had to evacuate the apartment without so much as a root beer.  We were, however, able to salvage a few items: both ours' and Desmond's bedroom door, our floor lamp, and of course, our bread machine.  Anna and I float on our door and we tow Des' door behind us, upon which floats his crib (Anna hasn't taught him to swim yet so we can't take any chances) and the generator we found on someone's roof.  And now, as we sit here floating towards the Potomac, our wireless router (we brought the essentials) steals internet from our door-neighbor's smartphone.

We just thought you, our readers, were that important that we would take time out of our float to apprise you of our situation.